Christian Life 19 - The Perfection Paradox

 This morning, I found my cushion, sat down and started counting breaths.  I became one with the earth, one with the sky, one with the universe and finally one with the Creator.

I immediately started to consider Matthew 5:48: "Be perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect."  I began to pray "Lord, I want to be perfect like you." Then I heard the still, quiet voice in my head.  "What's stopping you?"

As an aside, I know a lot of people talk about the voice of God being powerful, authoritative, omniscient.  I don't doubt it.  But the voice I hear, for better or worse, is usually sarcastic.  I have a lot of fun with God.

I started enumerating my many shortcomings, for they are legion.  I thought of all the bad habits that, no matter how aware I become, no matter how I promise myself to do better, no matter how annoyed with myself I get, I just keep falling back into them.  I cried out, "I am so weak!"  To which God responded, "That's okay, I can work with weak."  This brought to mind Moses, David, Sampson, Amos, Peter, Paul and James; all of whom managed to screw up at every turn and still become heroic.  Still, I was stuck on my point.  "But, Lord, how can I ever achieve perfection with all these foibles?"

"Jeff, if you overcame all your human frailties and became 'perfect, ' as you say, how would you feel then?"

"I don't know.  I've never managed it."

"You do, too, know.  You'd be pretty proud of yourself, wouldn't you?"

"Well, I...I...I don't...um..."

"Exactly."

"So, if I were to actually become perfect, I'd be proud of my perfection, thus rendering me imperfect.  Is that what you're saying?"

Silence.

"So, the only way to achieve perfection is by being imperfect?"

Big satisfied smile.

"You're really strange, God.  Did you know that?"

Grin widens.

I suppose that, at this point, the next step toward perfection is to accept my imperfection.  Perhaps then, I can learn to become more reliant on God to achieve perfection through me.  Who knows?  So often, just as I feel like I'm getting closer to Enlightenment, I find myself more confused than ever.  Maybe that's what Enlightenment means, after all.


Pax

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