Christian Life 35 - Solving for X

I expect responses to this one.  Don't disappoint me.

Imagine this: a mathematician approaches a blackboard covered with an impossibly complex equation; hundreds of numbers, dozens of functions and an array of variables.  The mathematician is to solve for x.  Now imagine that the mathematician determines that the solution to the equation must be x=0 before even picking up the chalk.  If x happens to not equal zero, then they have just doomed themselves to not only spending the rest of their life attempting to manipulate the equation in a vain effort to make x=0, but also seeing to it that it is a very frustrating life in the effort.  After some time, the most casual observer could see that the project was doomed and would consider the mathematician a fool for persisting in his efforts.

I believe this is how so many of us approach life.  When we reach the age at which we feel the need to develop a personal philosophy and examine the various aspects of life that must be taken into consideration, we often determine at the very beginning that the philosophy must allow for the concept that our individual lives must have some sort of intrinsic value, that we are more than random stardust, that life in fact has meaning.  That x must equal 0, as it were.  Like our hypothetical mathematician, we then spend the rest of our lives attempting to make the equation equal a value for x that simply isn't true, will never be true, and can never be made true regardless of our efforts.  And, when our efforts fail to pay off, we spend what remains of our lives as very old, very tired, very frustrated, very angry people.  In short, we are both vain and foolish.

The most obvious application of this comes in the form of organized religion.  One could argue that one of religion's most fundamental purposes is to assign meaning to life, and too many are the people using their religious beliefs to justify their own ideas of life's meaning, even when those meanings are quite sordid!  But this is far from the sole application.  Even nontheist philosophies contain this same purpose-driven belief.  There may be variations, but the theme remains the same.  Juxtapose Descartes' (Catholic) "I think, therefore I am" with Freud's (atheist) "ego" and "id" and you find them really discussing the same thing from different theistic points of view.  As regards the meaning of life, the only real distinction I see with my atheist friends (versus the theistic ones) is the desire to determine that meaning for themselves rather than have it determined on their behalf by an establishment.  In neither case is the possibility of meaninglessness even considered.

And our assumption of meaning is absolute.  Even those of my acquaintance who claim to disagree, saying aloud that life has no meaning, refute themselves pretty quickly by expounding in the next breath that they're going to live their lives as they see fit, thus assuming a self-glorifying meaning even while saying they believe in no such thing.  They proceed to fuss over such things as having a good deal of money or living in the best neighborhoods or driving a cool car, wearing their hair in the latest style or dressing in the newest fashions or having the greatest number of followers on social media.  Even acts of altruism are done for selfish motives, and more than one have expounded the theory in my presence that all acts by all people are ultimately thus committed, consciously or otherwise.

In an earlier post we spoke about the fear of irrelevance.  Perhaps we still do.  The idea of our own meaninglessness is indeed to be met initially with fear and, most likely, depression soon thereafter.  Many of us - your author included - are quite old when we finally become willing to face this fear, see it for what it really is, work through that fear and the ensuing depression, and emerge more serene and enlightened for the effort.

For the last year, we have spoken at some length on the subjects of peace and perfection, almost to the point of exclusivity.  Many have been the readers who have opined that it has all been an extravagance, that the concepts are physical impossibilities.  I agree.  But I've not been talking about physicality, I have been discussing spirituality.  When one's spirit is ready to acknowledge its own meaninglessness, when we stop seeking our own purpose, when we stop insisting that our preconceived solution for x must be right, we open ourselves to possibilities that would otherwise be impossible.  The gospels refer to this as a sort of metaphorical death, and I think this is an excellent analogy.  Most Western Christians I know are familiar with this phrase and interpret it as a sort of "stepping aside."  Not so.  When we choose to step aside, we allow ourselves the option of stepping back in, an option most of us exercise so often through the course of a day that we may as well have never stepped aside at all.  "Death" does not mean stepping aside, it means something more like a total annihilation of the self.  Not shelving one's ego, but eliminating it altogether.  It means finally accepting that the solution to life's equation is not now, never has been and never will be x=0.  When we finally accept this, peace and perfection become not only possible, but expectable.

Or, we can just keep trying to make x=0.  My granddaddy always used to say, "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got." ☺ 

Pax