Christian Life 11 - Getting Started

Let me reiterate before I begin that I am very much a layman in the matters under discussion.  Many authors have written on the subject at hand over the last 2500 years, many of whom had decades of experience before putting quill to parchment.  I've been at this for just over 2 months.  That should be all the warning any potential reader may need.

Okay, I've spent the last several posts discussing why we need to pray and meditate.  Let us move on to weightier matters; to wit, what prayer and meditation is (and is not) and how one should go about it.

Prayer, as I have previously defined it, means "talking to God."  Meditation, then, becomes "listening to God."  One of my first realizations upon finding the correct path was that I was spending way too much time in prayer and not nearly enough in meditation.  I would sit down to prayer time, read a short little daily devotional, then start 'praying,' by which I mean dominating the conversation and barely letting God get a word in edgewise.  And what exactly was I telling God with all my prayers?  Not to put too fine a point on it, I was telling God how to run things.  Whom I thought deserved divine healing, which global crises needed God's attention, which scalawags could use a bit of humbling, how my family really needed a bit more in the bank account every month.  Oh, and by the way, I'm really sorry about all my sins (the exact nature of which elude me at the moment), please forgive me, amen.  There you go.  Morning prayer time complete, now on to the rest of my day; my real life, as it were.

Two thoughts recently intervened to make me reconsider my entire prayer routine and, indeed, my entire relationship with God and the universe.  First was the nagging suspicion that God doesn't actually need my input on running a universe.  Perhaps God is actually a far more competent universe runner than I allow credit, and my opinions to the contrary are based solely on my limited vision of the past, present and future.  The second was that rather silly statement by Paul: "pray without ceasing." (I Thess. 5:17)

Trying to interpret that verse became problematic.  As a man with no background in praying whatsoever, my dedication of 30 minutes a day to the exercise seemed fairly devout, but  it hardly qualified as 'praying without ceasing.'  Most people I asked about the verse seemed to agree that the it meant little "flash prayers" said throughout the day whenever one encounters a fellow human who seems in need of such.  That, too, appeared to fall short of 'without ceasing.'  'Without ceasing' implies 'with every breath you take.'

Then I was given a copy of The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence, a 17th century monk whose devotion to God was so great that it was commented on by all who knew him to such an extent that, upon his death, his abbot collected all of Lawrence's writings and sayings into the book so credited to him.  The person of Brother Lawrence as presented in the book was exactly the sort of person I had been looking for my whole life.  I started looking for other examples, found a few (St. Francis, Fred Rogers, etc.) and lit upon their commonalities.  That's what started making me think less about prayer and more about meditation and why it is important to distinguish between the two.

The bottom line was this: a god who needed my advice on how life should work was not a god worthy of my attention, much less my worship.  There were two possible solutions to this dilemma.  Either God doesn't actually exist, or my understanding of God's plan was too small.  In light of all the evidence described in this blog - and keeping Occam's Razor in mind - the more reasonable conclusion was the latter.  So, there you go.

Let us consider for a brief moment what meditation is not.  Most importantly, it is not some form of self-hypnosis. Far from making oneself a gullible lemming, meditation is designed to increase one's awareness, to see oneself, others, and the universe that surrounds us more clearly, not less.  Secondly, it is not a deep dive into mysticism.  As we gain clarity, the need for magic, etc. is diminished, not increased.

To begin with, pack in your patience.  Brother Lawrence says repeatedly that it took ten years of practice to decide he had made any headway at all.  Other enlightened authors seem to think this is about average.  One can't get frustrated and give up after a few months without results (and I've already gotten to that point a few times).  Second, one doesn't need a strong faith to get started.  In fact, many people who start a meditation regime are atheists, although I don't know how easy it is to remain one after a while.  Whether one starts meditating as an atheist, a Buddhist, a Taoist or any other -ist, it'll become obvious pretty quickly that everything one learns in the practice ties right back to the teachings of Jesus.

Next, we discuss posture.  How one meditates, either sitting, standing, lying or walking doesn't matter.  In fact, one of the goals is to meditate all the time, so one will likely find oneself in all of the positions listed throughout one's day.  However, as a starting point, most find it easiest to sit.  This can be done either in a chair or on the floor, although many - myself included - find the floor a bit more practical.  The hope is that meditation lasts a very long time, and posture and positioning become important to avoid cramps and other discomforts.  I will describe the posture I assume.

Place a cushion on the floor to sit on.  It needn't be anything elaborate; a seat cushion or throw pillow will be fine.  We just need something to cushion and support the coccyx.  Position of the feet and legs should, again, be comfortable for long periods of time.  Some assume the lotus position.  I'm too old and fat.  I prefer the half lotus.  I suppose leaving the legs flayed will work just as well so long as the practitioner finds that comfortable for extended periods.  Hands should be relaxed and folded either in the lap or atop the belly (if, like me, there's a lot of belly).

Straighten your spine and lift your chin so that everything is in alignment.  Pretend that the room's ceiling is resting gently on the top of your head.  Using your back - not your head or shoulders - lift the ceiling 1/4"-1/2".  You may close your eyes or focus them on a spot 3-4 feet in front of you.  In the latter case, don't focus on "seeing" anything.  You won't get much meditation done if you're staring at a carpet that needs vacuuming.

Now breathe.  Don't try to control your breath, just notice that it's happening.  Focusing on one's breath isn't really all that important, it's just an easy thing to tune into since you're doing it anyway.  Count your breaths.  In is "one," out is "two."  Try to make it to "ten" before your mind starts interfering.  Whether you get to "ten" or not, once you've reached it (or if you don't reach it at all), start over with "one" and do it again.

You'll notice very quickly that your mind doesn't like this breathing crap.  You'll conjure up a flood of thoughts; things you should be doing, people you need to talk with, what you expect from the rest of your day, etc.  That's ok.  That's what minds are built to do.  Each time a thought interrupts your counting, don't try to fight it.  That'll just conjure up more thoughts.  You can't beat thinking by thinking about it.  Use the "Touch and Go" method instead.  As a thought enters your head, detach yourself from it by interrupting that thought with the thought "Thinking" and go back to counting breaths, starting over with "one."  It doesn't matter how often you have to start over.  It doesn't matter if you never make it to "ten."  At this point, we're simply practicing.  Every athlete starts off by being terrible at his/her chosen sport.  They only achieve greatness by practicing through their failures.  Eventually, by not fighting your wandering thoughts, by simply acknowledging them and returning to your breathing, the mind will finally get bored with itself and leave you be.  Each time you do this, it will get slightly easier.  In a few months you will find that your mind is interrupting your spirit less and less frequently.

Start off with a goal of ten minutes of silence per session and at least one session per day.  You can increase this incrementally until you can sit for an hour or two comfortably.  What happens at that point is the subject of subsequent posts.  If the thought "thinking" isn't enough, and if you're comfortable with the idea, trying adding a quick prayer to your thoughts. Interrupt your thoughts with "Thank you, God, for the oxygen I need to breathe, and the trees and plants that produce it."

After a week or two, we add something to think about instead of just entertaining our "monkey minds."  Shift focus from your breath to the rest of your body.  Think about your head.  How does it feel?  How about your neck?  Comfy?  Shoulders ok?  Keep moving down your body, focusing on each part until you reach your toes.  Then go back up.  Don't stay too long on any one body part.  If you realize you're getting a cramp in your neck then, of course, straighten back into your correct posture to relieve it.  But don't focus much on the sinus headache that's starting to throb.  Play Touch-and-Go with that pain.  You can always take some Tylenol later.  Acknowledge without judging and move on.

Now listen.  This exercise is taking us toward a point of listening to God anyway.  We might as well start practicing that as well.  Listen to whatever sounds are coming toward you.  The air coming through the vent in the ceiling.  The traffic passing on the road outside. The dogs barking a block away.  The rain pattering on the window.  Your own breath.  Your heartbeat. If you're like me, the constant ringing in your ears. Judge nothing, focus on nothing.  Just Touch-and-Go.  Any time your mind wanders, come back to your breathing and start again without judgment or criticism.  Accept that all is as it should be and begin again.  In - "one," out- "two."

That's enough for now.  Let's do that for a few weeks then come back here.  I'll add steps as I get through them.

Pax